A few months ago, at a professional development event, the following question was posed as something to consider asking a potential candidate during a job interview:
“What did you do to prepare for this interview?”
Genius, I thought. Everyone agreed (it was not my suggestion).
We discussed best-case-scenario answers.
“At the very least,” a colleague offered, “they should have reviewed the posting again. I feel like half the time people don’t even read it.”
“I had a guy tell me he showered,” another person added. We all snickered.
“You think that’s bad? I had a girl tell me she meditated.”
The table erupted in a combination of sighs, laughter and eye rolls.
I felt the corners of my lips turn up, an obligatory smile, but on the inside I could feel myself having what one of my yoga mentors calls “an emotional experience.” The first wave of this experience was a light version of shame.
I meditate before job interviews, I thought to myself. If the comment had been made by a stranger, I probably wouldn’t have cared all that much. But it wasn’t. I really respect the people I was sitting with–especially the woman who’d made the comment.
The second wave of emotion was anxiety. How many jobs have I been passed over for because I shared something like this, I heard myself wonder. Probably a lot, I realized, a thought that made me frustrated, angry even.
And as I noticed myself becoming angry, a feeling that for me starts in my chest and spreads to my face and throat, I felt a smile, a genuine smile, tugging at the corners of my mouth. The irony of my emotional experience was that without meditation, I probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all.
My meditation practice started in 2018 during my yoga teacher training. Before 2018, I too would have rolled my eyes at that interview answer. Meditation is in part the practice of mindfulness. The word “mindfulness” has become such a part of our culture that its true meaning, an awareness of one’s internal linguistic and emotional landscape, has largely been lost.
Since 2018, mindfulness and meditation have had a profound impact on how I navigate not only my personal life but also my career. I meditate before almost every important presentation or live learning event that I lead, reminding myself to stay present, to listen more than I speak. I remind myself that life is an experience, not a performance, and when I feel anxiety growing in my throat, I can make my next breath longer, fuller and more complete. I remind myself that I don’t need to control situations, and that if I hold space, people will learn and grow with or without my help.
Mindfulness has helped me stay curious and kind when I’d rather judge and defend. It helps me notice some (though not all) of my biases. It’s also helped me understand that while I feel these feelings and think these thoughts, I am neither my emotions nor my thoughts–I’m simply the space in which they exist.
When I signed up for yoga teacher training, I wanted to learn how to do a perfect chaturanga. I still can’t do that (or really anything perfectly). That said, the gateway to living a more present, intentional and mindful life was invaluable to me.
If anyone is interested in talking more about developing a meditation or mindfulness practice, I’d love to have a conversation with you. For those local to Grand Rapids, the studio I teach at is also offering a 200 hr Yoga Teacher Training this fall. Whether you plan on teaching yoga or not, I highly recommend considering the opportunity as a way to develop more presence in your body and mind.
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